Jul. Madam, I am not well.
Lady. Evermore weeping for your cousin’s death? What, wilt thou wash him from his grave with tears? An if thou couldst, thou couldst not make him live. Therefore have done. Some grief shows much of love; But much of grief shows still some want of wit. Jul. Yet let me weep for such a feeling loss. Lady. So shall you feel the loss, but not the friend Which you weep for.
Jul. Feeling so the loss,
I cannot choose but ever weep the friend. Lady. Well, girl, thou weep’st not so much for his death As that the villain lives which slaughter’d him. Jul. What villain, madam?
Lady. That same villain Romeo.
Jul. [aside] Villain and he be many miles asunder.- God pardon him! I do, with all my heart; And yet no man like he doth grieve my heart. Lady. That is because the traitor murderer lives. Jul. Ay, madam, from the reach of these my hands. Would none but I might venge my cousin’s death! Lady. We will have vengeance for it, fear thou not. Then weep no more. I’ll send to one in Mantua, Where that same banish’d runagate doth live, Shall give him such an unaccustom’d dram That he shall soon keep Tybalt company; And then I hope thou wilt be satisfied. Jul. Indeed I never shall be satisfied
With Romeo till I behold him- dead- Is my poor heart so for a kinsman vex’d. Madam, if you could find out but a man To bear a poison, I would temper it;
That Romeo should, upon receipt thereof, Soon sleep in quiet. O, how my heart abhors To hear him nam’d and cannot come to him, To wreak the love I bore my cousin Tybalt Upon his body that hath slaughter’d him! Lady. Find thou the means, and I’ll find such a man. But now I’ll tell thee joyful tidings, girl. Jul. And joy comes well in such a needy time. What are they, I beseech your ladyship? Lady. Well, well, thou hast a careful father, child; One who, to put thee from thy heaviness, Hath sorted out a sudden day of joy
That thou expects not nor I look’d not for. Jul. Madam, in happy time! What day is that? Lady. Marry, my child, early next Thursday morn The gallant, young, and noble gentleman, The County Paris, at Saint Peter’s Church, Shall happily make thee there a joyful bride. Jul. Now by Saint Peter’s Church, and Peter too, He shall not make me there a joyful bride! I wonder at this haste, that I must wed Ere he that should be husband comes to woo. I pray you tell my lord and father, madam, I will not marry yet; and when I do, I swear It shall be Romeo, whom you know I hate, Rather than Paris. These are news indeed! Lady. Here comes your father. Tell him so yourself, And see how be will take it at your hands.
Enter Capulet and Nurse.
Cap. When the sun sets the air doth drizzle dew, But for the sunset of my brother’s son It rains downright.
How now? a conduit, girl? What, still in tears? Evermore show’ring? In one little body Thou counterfeit’st a bark, a sea, a wind: For still thy eyes, which I may call the sea, Do ebb and flow with tears; the bark thy body is Sailing in this salt flood; the winds, thy sighs, Who, raging with thy tears and they with them, Without a sudden calm will overset
Thy tempest-tossed body. How now, wife? Have you delivered to her our decree?
Lady. Ay, sir; but she will none, she gives you thanks. I would the fool were married to her grave! Cap. Soft! take me with you, take me with you, wife. How? Will she none? Doth she not give us thanks? Is she not proud? Doth she not count her blest, Unworthy as she is, that we have wrought So worthy a gentleman to be her bridegroom? Jul. Not proud you have, but thankful that you have. Proud can I never be of what I hate,
But thankful even for hate that is meant love. Cap. How, how, how, how, choplogic? What is this? ‘Proud’- and ‘I thank you’- and ‘I thank you not’- And yet ‘not proud’? Mistress minion you, Thank me no thankings, nor proud me no prouds, But fettle your fine joints ‘gainst Thursday next To go with Paris to Saint Peter’s Church, Or I will drag thee on a hurdle thither. Out, you green-sickness carrion I out, you baggage! You tallow-face!
Lady. Fie, fie! what, are you mad? Jul. Good father, I beseech you on my knees, Hear me with patience but to speak a word. Cap. Hang thee, young baggage! disobedient wretch! I tell thee what- get thee to church a Thursday Or never after look me in the face.
Speak not, reply not, do not answer me! My fingers itch. Wife, we scarce thought us blest That God had lent us but this only child; But now I see this one is one too much, And that we have a curse in having her. Out on her, hilding!
Nurse. God in heaven bless her!
You are to blame, my lord, to rate her so. Cap. And why, my Lady Wisdom? Hold your tongue, Good Prudence. Smatter with your gossips, go! Nurse. I speak no treason.
Cap. O, God-i-god-en!
Nurse. May not one speak?
Cap. Peace, you mumbling fool!
Utter your gravity o’er a gossip’s bowl, For here we need it not.
Lady. You are too hot.
Cap. God’s bread I it makes me mad. Day, night, late, early, At home, abroad, alone, in company,
Waking or sleeping, still my care hath been To have her match’d; and having now provided A gentleman of princely parentage,
Of fair demesnes, youthful, and nobly train’d, Stuff’d, as they say, with honourable parts, Proportion’d as one’s thought would wish a man- And then to have a wretched puling fool, A whining mammet, in her fortune’s tender, To answer ‘I’ll not wed, I cannot love; I am too young, I pray you pardon me’! But, an you will not wed, I’ll pardon you. Graze where you will, you shall not house with me. Look to’t, think on’t; I do not use to jest. Thursday is near; lay hand on heart, advise: An you be mine, I’ll give you to my friend; An you be not, hang, beg, starve, die in the streets, For, by my soul, I’ll ne’er acknowledge thee, Nor what is mine shall never do thee good. Trust to’t. Bethink you. I’ll not be forsworn. Exit. Jul. Is there no pity sitting in the clouds That sees into the bottom of my grief? O sweet my mother, cast me not away!
Delay this marriage for a month, a week; Or if you do not, make the bridal bed
In that dim monument where Tybalt lies. Lady. Talk not to me, for I’ll not speak a word. Do as thou wilt, for I have done with thee. Exit. Jul. O God!- O nurse, how shall this be prevented? My husband is on earth, my faith in heaven. How shall that faith return again to earth Unless that husband send it me from heaven By leaving earth? Comfort me, counsel me. Alack, alack, that heaven should practise stratagems Upon so soft a subject as myself!
What say’st thou? Hast thou not a word of joy? Some comfort, nurse.
Nurse. Faith, here it is.
Romeo is banish’d; and all the world to nothing That he dares ne’er come back to challenge you; Or if he do, it needs must be by stealth. Then, since the case so stands as now it doth, I think it best you married with the County. O, he’s a lovely gentleman!
Romeo’s a dishclout to him. An eagle, madam, Hath not so green, so quick, so fair an eye As Paris hath. Beshrew my very heart,
I think you are happy in this second match, For it excels your first; or if it did not, Your first is dead- or ’twere as good he were As living here and you no use of him.
Jul. Speak’st thou this from thy heart? Nurse. And from my soul too; else beshrew them both. Jul. Amen!
Nurse. What?
Jul. Well, thou hast comforted me marvellous much. Go in; and tell my lady I am gone,
Having displeas’d my father, to Laurence’ cell, To make confession and to be absolv’d. Nurse. Marry, I will; and this is wisely done. Exit. Jul. Ancient damnation! O most wicked fiend! Is it more sin to wish me thus forsworn, Or to dispraise my lord with that same tongue Which she hath prais’d him with above compare So many thousand times? Go, counsellor! Thou and my bosom henceforth shall be twain. I’ll to the friar to know his remedy.
If all else fail, myself have power to die. Exit.
<
ACT IV. Scene I.
Friar Laurence’s cell.
Enter Friar, [Laurence] and County Paris.
Friar. On Thursday, sir? The time is very short. Par. My father Capulet will have it so, And I am nothing slow to slack his haste. Friar. You say you do not know the lady’s mind. Uneven is the course; I like it not.
Par. Immoderately she weeps for Tybalt’s death, And therefore have I little talk’d of love; For Venus smiles not in a house of tears. Now, sir, her father counts it dangerous That she do give her sorrow so much sway, And in his wisdom hastes our marriage
To stop the inundation of her tears, Which, too much minded by herself alone, May be put from her by society.
Now do you know the reason of this haste. Friar. [aside] I would I knew not why it should be slow’d.- Look, sir, here comes the lady toward my cell.
Enter Juliet.
Par. Happily met, my lady and my wife! Jul. That may be, sir, when I may be a wife. Par. That may be must be, love, on Thursday next. Jul. What must be shall be.
Friar. That’s a certain text.
Par. Come you to make confession to this father? Jul. To answer that, I should confess to you. Par. Do not deny to him that you love me. Jul. I will confess to you that I love him. Par. So will ye, I am sure, that you love me. Jul. If I do so, it will be of more price, Being spoke behind your back, than to your face. Par. Poor soul, thy face is much abus’d with tears. Jul. The tears have got small victory by that, For it was bad enough before their spite. Par. Thou wrong’st it more than tears with that report. Jul. That is no slander, sir, which is a truth; And what I spake, I spake it to my face. Par. Thy face is mine, and thou hast sland’red it. Jul. It may be so, for it is not mine own. Are you at leisure, holy father, now,
Or shall I come to you at evening mass Friar. My leisure serves me, pensive daughter, now. My lord, we must entreat the time alone. Par. God shield I should disturb devotion! Juliet, on Thursday early will I rouse ye. Till then, adieu, and keep this holy kiss. Exit. Jul. O, shut the door! and when thou hast done so, Come weep with me- past hope, past cure, past help! Friar. Ah, Juliet, I already know thy grief; It strains me past the compass of my wits. I hear thou must, and nothing may prorogue it, On Thursday next be married to this County. Jul. Tell me not, friar, that thou hear’st of this, Unless thou tell me how I may prevent it. If in thy wisdom thou canst give no help, Do thou but call my resolution wise
And with this knife I’ll help it presently. God join’d my heart and Romeo’s, thou our hands; And ere this hand, by thee to Romeo’s seal’d, Shall be the label to another deed,
Or my true heart with treacherous revolt Turn to another, this shall slay them both. Therefore, out of thy long-experienc’d time, Give me some present counsel; or, behold, ‘Twixt my extremes and me this bloody knife Shall play the empire, arbitrating that Which the commission of thy years and art Could to no issue of true honour bring. Be not so long to speak. I long to die If what thou speak’st speak not of remedy. Friar. Hold, daughter. I do spy a kind of hope, Which craves as desperate an execution As that is desperate which we would prevent. If, rather than to marry County Paris
Thou hast the strength of will to slay thyself, Then is it likely thou wilt undertake A thing like death to chide away this shame, That cop’st with death himself to scape from it; And, if thou dar’st, I’ll give thee remedy. Jul. O, bid me leap, rather than marry Paris, From off the battlements of yonder tower, Or walk in thievish ways, or bid me lurk Where serpents are; chain me with roaring bears, Or shut me nightly in a charnel house, O’ercover’d quite with dead men’s rattling bones, With reeky shanks and yellow chapless skulls; Or bid me go into a new-made grave
And hide me with a dead man in his shroud- Things that, to hear them told, have made me tremble- And I will do it without fear or doubt, To live an unstain’d wife to my sweet love. Friar. Hold, then. Go home, be merry, give consent To marry Paris. Wednesday is to-morrow. To-morrow night look that thou lie alone; Let not the nurse lie with thee in thy chamber. Take thou this vial, being then in bed, And this distilled liquor drink thou off; When presently through all thy veins shall run A cold and drowsy humour; for no pulse Shall keep his native progress, but surcease; No warmth, no breath, shall testify thou livest; The roses in thy lips and cheeks shall fade To paly ashes, thy eyes’ windows fall
Like death when he shuts up the day of life; Each part, depriv’d of supple government, Shall, stiff and stark and cold, appear like death; And in this borrowed likeness of shrunk death Thou shalt continue two-and-forty hours, And then awake as from a pleasant sleep. Now, when the bridegroom in the morning comes To rouse thee from thy bed, there art thou dead. Then, as the manner of our country is, In thy best robes uncovered on the bier Thou shalt be borne to that same ancient vault Where all the kindred of the Capulets lie. In the mean time, against thou shalt awake, Shall Romeo by my letters know our drift; And hither shall he come; and he and I Will watch thy waking, and that very night Shall Romeo bear thee hence to Mantua. And this shall free thee from this present shame, If no inconstant toy nor womanish fear Abate thy valour in the acting it.
Jul. Give me, give me! O, tell not me of fear! Friar. Hold! Get you gone, be strong and prosperous In this resolve. I’ll send a friar with speed To Mantua, with my letters to thy lord. Jul. Love give me strength! and strength shall help afford. Farewell, dear father.
Exeunt.
Scene II.
Capulet’s house.
Enter Father Capulet, Mother, Nurse, and Servingmen, two or three.
Cap. So many guests invite as here are writ. [Exit a Servingman.] Sirrah, go hire me twenty cunning cooks. Serv. You shall have none ill, sir; for I’ll try if they can lick their fingers.
Cap. How canst thou try them so?
Serv. Marry, sir, ’tis an ill cook that cannot lick his own fingers. Therefore he that cannot lick his fingers goes not with me.
Cap. Go, begone.
Exit Servingman. We shall be much unfurnish’d for this time. What, is my daughter gone to Friar Laurence? Nurse. Ay, forsooth.
Cap. Well, be may chance to do some good on her. A peevish self-will’d harlotry it is.
Enter Juliet.
Nurse. See where she comes from shrift with merry look. Cap. How now, my headstrong? Where have you been gadding? Jul. Where I have learnt me to repent the sin Of disobedient opposition
To you and your behests, and am enjoin’d By holy Laurence to fall prostrate here To beg your pardon. Pardon, I beseech you! Henceforward I am ever rul’d by you.
Cap. Send for the County. Go tell him of this. I’ll have this knot knit up to-morrow morning. Jul. I met the youthful lord at Laurence’ cell And gave him what becomed love I might, Not stepping o’er the bounds of modesty. Cap. Why, I am glad on’t. This is well. Stand up. This is as’t should be. Let me see the County. Ay, marry, go, I say, and fetch him hither. Now, afore God, this reverend holy friar, All our whole city is much bound to him. Jul. Nurse, will you go with me into my closet To help me sort such needful ornaments As you think fit to furnish me to-morrow? Mother. No, not till Thursday. There is time enough. Cap. Go, nurse, go with her. We’ll to church to-morrow. Exeunt Juliet and Nurse. Mother. We shall be short in our provision. ‘Tis now near night.
Cap. Tush, I will stir about,
And all things shall be well, I warrant thee, wife. Go thou to Juliet, help to deck up her. I’ll not to bed to-night; let me alone. I’ll play the housewife for this once. What, ho! They are all forth; well, I will walk myself To County Paris, to prepare him up
Against to-morrow. My heart is wondrous light, Since this same wayward girl is so reclaim’d. Exeunt.
Scene III.
Juliet’s chamber.
Enter Juliet and Nurse.
Jul. Ay, those attires are best; but, gentle nurse, I pray thee leave me to myself to-night; For I have need of many orisons
To move the heavens to smile upon my state, Which, well thou knowest, is cross and full of sin.
Enter Mother.
Mother. What, are you busy, ho? Need you my help? Jul. No, madam; we have cull’d such necessaries As are behooffull for our state to-morrow. So please you, let me now be left alone, And let the nurse this night sit up with you; For I am sure you have your hands full all In this so sudden business.
Mother. Good night.
Get thee to bed, and rest; for thou hast need. Exeunt [Mother and Nurse.] Jul. Farewell! God knows when we shall meet again. I have a faint cold fear thrills through my veins That almost freezes up the heat of life. I’ll call them back again to comfort me. Nurse!- What should she do here?
My dismal scene I needs must act alone. Come, vial.
What if this mixture do not work at all? Shall I be married then to-morrow morning? No, No! This shall forbid it. Lie thou there. Lays down a dagger. What if it be a poison which the friar Subtilly hath minist’red to have me dead, Lest in this marriage he should be dishonour’d Because he married me before to Romeo? I fear it is; and yet methinks it should not, For he hath still been tried a holy man. I will not entertain so bad a thought. How if, when I am laid into the tomb, I wake before the time that Romeo
Come to redeem me? There’s a fearful point! Shall I not then be stifled in the vault, To whose foul mouth no healthsome air breathes in, And there die strangled ere my Romeo comes? Or, if I live, is it not very like
The horrible conceit of death and night, Together with the terror of the place- As in a vault, an ancient receptacle
Where for this many hundred years the bones Of all my buried ancestors are pack’d; Where bloody Tybalt, yet but green in earth, Lies fest’ring in his shroud; where, as they say, At some hours in the night spirits resort- Alack, alack, is it not like that I,
So early waking- what with loathsome smells, And shrieks like mandrakes torn out of the earth, That living mortals, hearing them, run mad- O, if I wake, shall I not be distraught, Environed with all these hideous fears, And madly play with my forefathers’ joints, And pluck the mangled Tybalt from his shroud., And, in this rage, with some great kinsman’s bone As with a club dash out my desp’rate brains? O, look! methinks I see my cousin’s ghost Seeking out Romeo, that did spit his body Upon a rapier’s point. Stay, Tybalt, stay! Romeo, I come! this do I drink to thee.
She [drinks and] falls upon her bed within the curtains.
Scene IV.
Capulet’s house.
Enter Lady of the House and Nurse.
Lady. Hold, take these keys and fetch more spices, nurse. Nurse. They call for dates and quinces in the pastry.
Enter Old Capulet.
Cap. Come, stir, stir, stir! The second cock hath crow’d, The curfew bell hath rung, ’tis three o’clock. Look to the bak’d meats, good Angelica; Spare not for cost.
Nurse. Go, you cot-quean, go,
Get you to bed! Faith, you’ll be sick to-morrow For this night’s watching.
Cap. No, not a whit. What, I have watch’d ere now All night for lesser cause, and ne’er been sick. Lady. Ay, you have been a mouse-hunt in your time; But I will watch you from such watching now. Exeunt Lady and Nurse. Cap. A jealous hood, a jealous hood!
Enter three or four [Fellows, with spits and logs and baskets.
What is there? Now, fellow,
Fellow. Things for the cook, sir; but I know not what. Cap. Make haste, make haste. [Exit Fellow.] Sirrah, fetch drier logs.
Call Peter; he will show thee where they are. Fellow. I have a head, sir, that will find out logs And never trouble Peter for the matter. Cap. Mass, and well said; a merry whoreson, ha! Thou shalt be loggerhead. [Exit Fellow.] Good faith, ’tis day. The County will be here with music straight, For so he said he would. Play music. I hear him near.
Nurse! Wife! What, ho! What, nurse, I say!
Enter Nurse.
Go waken Juliet; go and trim her up. I’ll go and chat with Paris. Hie, make haste, Make haste! The bridegroom he is come already: Make haste, I say.
[Exeunt.]
Scene V.
Juliet’s chamber.
[Enter Nurse.]
Nurse. Mistress! what, mistress! Juliet! Fast, I warrant her, she. Why, lamb! why, lady! Fie, you slug-abed! Why, love, I say! madam! sweetheart! Why, bride! What, not a word? You take your pennyworths now! Sleep for a week; for the next night, I warrant, The County Paris hath set up his rest
That you shall rest but little. God forgive me! Marry, and amen. How sound is she asleep! I needs must wake her. Madam, madam, madam! Ay, let the County take you in your bed! He’ll fright you up, i’ faith. Will it not be? [Draws aside the curtains.] What, dress’d, and in your clothes, and down again? I must needs wake you. Lady! lady! lady! Alas, alas! Help, help! My lady’s dead! O weraday that ever I was born!
Some aqua-vitae, ho! My lord! my lady!
Enter Mother.
Mother. What noise is here?
Nurse. O lamentable day!
Mother. What is the matter?
Nurse. Look, look! O heavy day!
Mother. O me, O me! My child, my only life! Revive, look up, or I will die with thee! Help, help! Call help.
Enter Father.
Father. For shame, bring Juliet forth; her lord is come. Nurse. She’s dead, deceas’d; she’s dead! Alack the day! Mother. Alack the day, she’s dead, she’s dead, she’s dead! Cap. Ha! let me see her. Out alas! she’s cold, Her blood is settled, and her joints are stiff; Life and these lips have long been separated. Death lies on her like an untimely frost Upon the sweetest flower of all the field. Nurse. O lamentable day!
Mother. O woful time!
Cap. Death, that hath ta’en her hence to make me wail, Ties up my tongue and will not let me speak.
Enter Friar [Laurence] and the County [Paris], with Musicians.
Friar. Come, is the bride ready to go to church? Cap. Ready to go, but never to return.
O son, the night before thy wedding day Hath Death lain with thy wife. See, there she lies, Flower as she was, deflowered by him.
Death is my son-in-law, Death is my heir; My daughter he hath wedded. I will die And leave him all. Life, living, all is Death’s. Par. Have I thought long to see this morning’s face, And doth it give me such a sight as this? Mother. Accurs’d, unhappy, wretched, hateful day! Most miserable hour that e’er time saw In lasting labour of his pilgrimage!
But one, poor one, one poor and loving child, But one thing to rejoice and solace in, And cruel Death hath catch’d it from my sight! Nurse. O woe? O woful, woful, woful day! Most lamentable day, most woful day
That ever ever I did yet behold!
O day! O day! O day! O hateful day! Never was seen so black a day as this. O woful day! O woful day!
Par. Beguil’d, divorced, wronged, spited, slain! Most detestable Death, by thee beguil’d, By cruel cruel thee quite overthrown!
O love! O life! not life, but love in death Cap. Despis’d, distressed, hated, martyr’d, kill’d! Uncomfortable time, why cam’st thou now To murther, murther our solemnity?
O child! O child! my soul, and not my child! Dead art thou, dead! alack, my child is dead, And with my child my joys are buried! Friar. Peace, ho, for shame! Confusion’s cure lives not In these confusions. Heaven and yourself Had part in this fair maid! now heaven hath all, And all the better is it for the maid. Your part in her you could not keep from death, But heaven keeps his part in eternal life. The most you sought was her promotion, For ’twas your heaven she should be advanc’d; And weep ye now, seeing she is advanc’d Above the clouds, as high as heaven itself? O, in this love, you love your child so ill That you run mad, seeing that she is well. She’s not well married that lives married long, But she’s best married that dies married young. Dry up your tears and stick your rosemary On this fair corse, and, as the custom is, In all her best array bear her to church; For though fond nature bids us all lament, Yet nature’s tears are reason’s merriment. Cap. All things that we ordained festival Turn from their office to black funeral- Our instruments to melancholy bells,
Our wedding cheer to a sad burial feast; Our solemn hymns to sullen dirges change; Our bridal flowers serve for a buried corse; And all things change them to the contrary. Friar. Sir, go you in; and, madam, go with him; And go, Sir Paris. Every one prepare
To follow this fair corse unto her grave. The heavens do low’r upon you for some ill; Move them no more by crossing their high will. Exeunt. Manent Musicians [and Nurse]. 1. Mus. Faith, we may put up our pipes and be gone. Nurse. Honest good fellows, ah, put up, put up! For well you know this is a pitiful case. [Exit.] 1. Mus. Ay, by my troth, the case may be amended.
Enter Peter.
Pet. Musicians, O, musicians, ‘Heart’s ease,’ ‘Heart’s ease’! O, an you will have me live, play ‘Heart’s ease.’ 1. Mus. Why ‘Heart’s ease”,
Pet. O, musicians, because my heart itself plays ‘My heart is full of woe.’ O, play me some merry dump to comfort me. 1. Mus. Not a dump we! ‘Tis no time to play now. Pet. You will not then?
1. Mus. No.
Pet. I will then give it you soundly. 1. Mus. What will you give us?
Pet. No money, on my faith, but the gleek. I will give you the minstrel.
1. Mus. Then will I give you the serving-creature. Pet. Then will I lay the serving-creature’s dagger on your pate. I will carry no crotchets. I’ll re you, I’ll fa you. Do you note me?
1. Mus. An you re us and fa us, you note us. 2. Mus. Pray you put up your dagger, and put out your wit. Pet. Then have at you with my wit! I will dry-beat you with an iron wit, and put up my iron dagger. Answer me like men.
‘When griping grief the heart doth wound, And doleful dumps the mind oppress, Then music with her silver sound’-
Why ‘silver sound’? Why ‘music with her silver sound’? What say you, Simon Catling?
1. Mus. Marry, sir, because silver hath a sweet sound. Pet. Pretty! What say You, Hugh Rebeck? 2. Mus. I say ‘silver sound’ because musicians sound for silver. Pet. Pretty too! What say you, James Soundpost? 3. Mus. Faith, I know not what to say.
Pet. O, I cry you mercy! you are the singer. I will say for you. It is ‘music with her silver sound’ because musicians have no gold for sounding.
‘Then music with her silver sound With speedy help doth lend redress.’ [Exit.
1. Mus. What a pestilent knave is this same? 2. Mus. Hang him, Jack! Come, we’ll in here, tarry for the mourners, and stay dinner.
Exeunt.
<
ACT V. Scene I.
Mantua. A street.
Enter Romeo.
Rom. If I may trust the flattering truth of sleep My dreams presage some joyful news at hand. My bosom’s lord sits lightly in his throne, And all this day an unaccustom’d spirit Lifts me above the ground with cheerful thoughts. I dreamt my lady came and found me dead (Strange dream that gives a dead man leave to think!) And breath’d such life with kisses in my lips That I reviv’d and was an emperor.
Ah me! how sweet is love itself possess’d, When but love’s shadows are so rich in joy!
Enter Romeo’s Man Balthasar, booted.
News from Verona! How now, Balthasar? Dost thou not bring me letters from the friar? How doth my lady? Is my father well?
How fares my Juliet? That I ask again, For nothing can be ill if she be well. Man. Then she is well, and nothing can be ill. Her body sleeps in Capel’s monument,
And her immortal part with angels lives. I saw her laid low in her kindred’s vault And presently took post to tell it you. O, pardon me for bringing these ill news, Since you did leave it for my office, sir. Rom. Is it e’en so? Then I defy you, stars! Thou knowest my lodging. Get me ink and paper And hire posthorses. I will hence to-night. Man. I do beseech you, sir, have patience. Your looks are pale and wild and do import Some misadventure.
Rom. Tush, thou art deceiv’d.
Leave me and do the thing I bid thee do. Hast thou no letters to me from the friar? Man. No, my good lord.
Rom. No matter. Get thee gone
And hire those horses. I’ll be with thee straight. Exit [Balthasar]. Well, Juliet, I will lie with thee to-night. Let’s see for means. O mischief, thou art swift To enter in the thoughts of desperate men! I do remember an apothecary,
And hereabouts ‘a dwells, which late I noted In tatt’red weeds, with overwhelming brows, Culling of simples. Meagre were his looks, Sharp misery had worn him to the bones; And in his needy shop a tortoise hung, An alligator stuff’d, and other skins
Of ill-shaped fishes; and about his shelves A beggarly account of empty boxes,
Green earthen pots, bladders, and musty seeds, Remnants of packthread, and old cakes of roses Were thinly scattered, to make up a show. Noting this penury, to myself I said,
‘An if a man did need a poison now Whose sale is present death in Mantua, Here lives a caitiff wretch would sell it him.’ O, this same thought did but forerun my need, And this same needy man must sell it me. As I remember, this should be the house. Being holiday, the beggar’s shop is shut. What, ho! apothecary!
Enter Apothecary.
Apoth. Who calls so loud?
Rom. Come hither, man. I see that thou art poor. Hold, there is forty ducats. Let me have A dram of poison, such soon-speeding gear As will disperse itself through all the veins That the life-weary taker mall fall dead, And that the trunk may be discharg’d of breath As violently as hasty powder fir’d
Doth hurry from the fatal cannon’s womb. Apoth. Such mortal drugs I have; but Mantua’s law Is death to any he that utters them.
Rom. Art thou so bare and full of wretchedness And fearest to die? Famine is in thy cheeks, Need and oppression starveth in thine eyes, Contempt and beggary hangs upon thy back: The world is not thy friend, nor the world’s law; The world affords no law to make thee rich; Then be not poor, but break it and take this. Apoth. My poverty but not my will consents. Rom. I pay thy poverty and not thy will. Apoth. Put this in any liquid thing you will And drink it off, and if you had the strength Of twenty men, it would dispatch you straight. Rom. There is thy gold- worse poison to men’s souls, Doing more murther in this loathsome world, Than these poor compounds that thou mayst not sell. I sell thee poison; thou hast sold me none. Farewell. Buy food and get thyself in flesh. Come, cordial and not poison, go with me To Juliet’s grave; for there must I use thee. Exeunt.
Scene II.
Verona. Friar Laurence’s cell.
Enter Friar John to Friar Laurence.
John. Holy Franciscan friar, brother, ho!
Enter Friar Laurence.
Laur. This same should be the voice of Friar John. Welcome from Mantua. What says Romeo?
Or, if his mind be writ, give me his letter. John. Going to find a barefoot brother out, One of our order, to associate me
Here in this city visiting the sick, And finding him, the searchers of the town, Suspecting that we both were in a house Where the infectious pestilence did reign, Seal’d up the doors, and would not let us forth, So that my speed to Mantua there was stay’d. Laur. Who bare my letter, then, to Romeo? John. I could not send it- here it is again- Nor get a messenger to bring it thee,
So fearful were they of infection. Laur. Unhappy fortune! By my brotherhood, The letter was not nice, but full of charge, Of dear import; and the neglecting it
May do much danger. Friar John, go hence, Get me an iron crow and bring it straight Unto my cell.
John. Brother, I’ll go and bring it thee. Exit. Laur. Now, must I to the monument alone. Within this three hours will fair Juliet wake. She will beshrew me much that Romeo
Hath had no notice of these accidents; But I will write again to Mantua,
And keep her at my cell till Romeo come- Poor living corse, clos’d in a dead man’s tomb! Exit.
Scene III.
Verona. A churchyard; in it the monument of the Capulets.
Enter Paris and his Page with flowers and [a torch].
Par. Give me thy torch, boy. Hence, and stand aloof. Yet put it out, for I would not be seen. Under yond yew tree lay thee all along, Holding thine ear close to the hollow ground. So shall no foot upon the churchyard tread (Being loose, unfirm, with digging up of graves) But thou shalt hear it. Whistle then to me, As signal that thou hear’st something approach. Give me those flowers. Do as I bid thee, go. Page. [aside] I am almost afraid to stand alone Here in the churchyard; yet I will adventure. [Retires.] Par. Sweet flower, with flowers thy bridal bed I strew (O woe! thy canopy is dust and stones) Which with sweet water nightly I will dew; Or, wanting that, with tears distill’d by moans. The obsequies that I for thee will keep Nightly shall be to strew, thy grave and weep. Whistle Boy.
The boy gives warning something doth approach. What cursed foot wanders this way to-night To cross my obsequies and true love’s rite? What, with a torch? Muffle me, night, awhile. [Retires.]
Enter Romeo, and Balthasar with a torch, a mattock, and a crow of iron.
Rom. Give me that mattock and the wrenching iron. Hold, take this letter. Early in the morning See thou deliver it to my lord and father. Give me the light. Upon thy life I charge thee, Whate’er thou hearest or seest, stand all aloof And do not interrupt me in my course.
Why I descend into this bed of death Is partly to behold my lady’s face,
But chiefly to take thence from her dead finger A precious ring- a ring that I must use In dear employment. Therefore hence, be gone. But if thou, jealous, dost return to pry In what I farther shall intend to do,
By heaven, I will tear thee joint by joint And strew this hungry churchyard with thy limbs. The time and my intents are savage-wild, More fierce and more inexorable far
Than empty tigers or the roaring sea. Bal. I will be gone, sir, and not trouble you. Rom. So shalt thou show me friendship. Take thou that. Live, and be prosperous; and farewell, good fellow. Bal. [aside] For all this same, I’ll hide me hereabout. His looks I fear, and his intents I doubt. [Retires.] Rom. Thou detestable maw, thou womb of death, Gorg’d with the dearest morsel of the earth, Thus I enforce thy rotten jaws to open, And in despite I’ll cram thee with more food. Romeo opens the tomb. Par. This is that banish’d haughty Montague That murd’red my love’s cousin- with which grief It is supposed the fair creature died- And here is come to do some villanous shame To the dead bodies. I will apprehend him. Stop thy unhallowed toil, vile Montague! Can vengeance be pursu’d further than death? Condemned villain, I do apprehend thee. Obey, and go with me; for thou must die. Rom. I must indeed; and therefore came I hither. Good gentle youth, tempt not a desp’rate man. Fly hence and leave me. Think upon these gone; Let them affright thee. I beseech thee, youth, But not another sin upon my head
By urging me to fury. O, be gone! By heaven, I love thee better than myself, For I come hither arm’d against myself. Stay not, be gone. Live, and hereafter say A madman’s mercy bid thee run away.
Par. I do defy thy, conjuration
And apprehend thee for a felon here. Rom. Wilt thou provoke me? Then have at thee, boy! They fight.
Page. O Lord, they fight! I will go call the watch. [Exit. Paris falls.] Par. O, I am slain! If thou be merciful, Open the tomb, lay me with Juliet. [Dies.] Rom. In faith, I will. Let me peruse this face. Mercutio’s kinsman, noble County Paris! What said my man when my betossed soul Did not attend him as we rode? I think He told me Paris should have married Juliet. Said he not so? or did I dream it so?
Or am I mad, hearing him talk of Juliet To think it was so? O, give me thy hand, One writ with me in sour misfortune’s book! I’ll bury thee in a triumphant grave.
A grave? O, no, a lanthorn, slaught’red youth, For here lies Juliet, and her beauty makes This vault a feasting presence full of light. Death, lie thou there, by a dead man interr’d. [Lays him in the tomb.] How oft when men are at the point of death Have they been merry! which their keepers call A lightning before death. O, how may I Call this a lightning? O my love! my wife! Death, that hath suck’d the honey of thy breath, Hath had no power yet upon thy beauty. Thou art not conquer’d. Beauty’s ensign yet Is crimson in thy lips and in thy cheeks, And death’s pale flag is not advanced there. Tybalt, liest thou there in thy bloody sheet? O, what more favour can I do to thee
Than with that hand that cut thy youth in twain To sunder his that was thine enemy?
Forgive me, cousin.’ Ah, dear Juliet, Why art thou yet so fair? Shall I believe That unsubstantial Death is amorous,
And that the lean abhorred monster keeps Thee here in dark to be his paramour?
For fear of that I still will stay with thee And never from this palace of dim night Depart again. Here, here will I remain With worms that are thy chambermaids. O, here Will I set up my everlasting rest
And shake the yoke of inauspicious stars From this world-wearied flesh. Eyes, look your last! Arms, take your last embrace! and, lips, O you The doors of breath, seal with a righteous kiss A dateless bargain to engrossing death! Come, bitter conduct; come, unsavoury guide! Thou desperate pilot, now at once run on The dashing rocks thy seasick weary bark! Here’s to my love! [Drinks.] O true apothecary! Thy drugs are quick. Thus with a kiss I die. Falls.
Enter Friar [Laurence], with lanthorn, crow, and spade.
Friar. Saint Francis be my speed! how oft to-night Have my old feet stumbled at graves! Who’s there? Bal. Here’s one, a friend, and one that knows you well. Friar. Bliss be upon you! Tell me, good my friend, What torch is yond that vainly lends his light To grubs and eyeless skulls? As I discern, It burneth in the Capels’ monument.
Bal. It doth so, holy sir; and there’s my master, One that you love.
Friar. Who is it?
Bal. Romeo.
Friar. How long hath he been there? Bal. Full half an hour.
Friar. Go with me to the vault.
Bal. I dare not, sir.
My master knows not but I am gone hence, And fearfully did menace me with death If I did stay to look on his intents.
Friar. Stay then; I’ll go alone. Fear comes upon me. O, much I fear some ill unthrifty thing. Bal. As I did sleep under this yew tree here, I dreamt my master and another fought, And that my master slew him.
Friar. Romeo!
Alack, alack, what blood is this which stains The stony entrance of this sepulchre?
What mean these masterless and gory swords To lie discolour’d by this place of peace? [Enters the tomb.] Romeo! O, pale! Who else? What, Paris too? And steep’d in blood? Ah, what an unkind hour Is guilty of this lamentable chance! The lady stirs. Juliet rises.
Jul. O comfortable friar! where is my lord? I do remember well where I should be,
And there I am. Where is my Romeo? Friar. I hear some noise. Lady, come from that nest Of death, contagion, and unnatural sleep. A greater power than we can contradict Hath thwarted our intents. Come, come away. Thy husband in thy bosom there lies dead; And Paris too. Come, I’ll dispose of thee Among a sisterhood of holy nuns.
Stay not to question, for the watch is coming. Come, go, good Juliet. I dare no longer stay. Jul. Go, get thee hence, for I will not away. Exit [Friar].
What’s here? A cup, clos’d in my true love’s hand? Poison, I see, hath been his timeless end. O churl! drunk all, and left no friendly drop To help me after? I will kiss thy lips. Haply some poison yet doth hang on them To make me die with a restorative. [Kisses him.] Thy lips are warm!
Chief Watch. [within] Lead, boy. Which way? Yea, noise? Then I’ll be brief. O happy dagger! [Snatches Romeo’s dagger.] This is thy sheath; there rest, and let me die. She stabs herself and falls [on Romeo’s body].
Enter [Paris’s] Boy and Watch.
Boy. This is the place. There, where the torch doth burn. Chief Watch. ‘the ground is bloody. Search about the churchyard. Go, some of you; whoe’er you find attach. [Exeunt some of the Watch.] Pitiful sight! here lies the County slain; And Juliet bleeding, warm, and newly dead, Who here hath lain this two days buried. Go, tell the Prince; run to the Capulets; Raise up the Montagues; some others search. [Exeunt others of the Watch.] We see the ground whereon these woes do lie, But the true ground of all these piteous woes We cannot without circumstance descry.
Enter [some of the Watch,] with Romeo’s Man [Balthasar].
2. Watch. Here’s Romeo’s man. We found him in the churchyard. Chief Watch. Hold him in safety till the Prince come hither.
Enter Friar [Laurence] and another Watchman.
3. Watch. Here is a friar that trembles, sighs, and weeps. We took this mattock and this spade from him As he was coming from this churchyard side. Chief Watch. A great suspicion! Stay the friar too.
Enter the Prince [and Attendants].
Prince. What misadventure is so early up, That calls our person from our morning rest?
Enter Capulet and his Wife [with others].
Cap. What should it be, that they so shriek abroad? Wife. The people in the street cry ‘Romeo,’ Some ‘Juliet,’ and some ‘Paris’; and all run, With open outcry, toward our monument. Prince. What fear is this which startles in our ears? Chief Watch. Sovereign, here lies the County Paris slain; And Romeo dead; and Juliet, dead before, Warm and new kill’d.
Prince. Search, seek, and know how this foul murder comes. Chief Watch. Here is a friar, and slaughter’d Romeo’s man, With instruments upon them fit to open These dead men’s tombs.
Cap. O heavens! O wife, look how our daughter bleeds! This dagger hath mista’en, for, lo, his house Is empty on the back of Montague,
And it missheathed in my daughter’s bosom! Wife. O me! this sight of death is as a bell That warns my old age to a sepulchre.
Enter Montague [and others].
Prince. Come, Montague; for thou art early up To see thy son and heir more early down. Mon. Alas, my liege, my wife is dead to-night! Grief of my son’s exile hath stopp’d her breath. What further woe conspires against mine age? Prince. Look, and thou shalt see.
Mon. O thou untaught! what manners is in this, To press before thy father to a grave? Prince. Seal up the mouth of outrage for a while, Till we can clear these ambiguities
And know their spring, their head, their true descent; And then will I be general of your woes And lead you even to death. Meantime forbear, And let mischance be slave to patience. Bring forth the parties of suspicion.
Friar. I am the greatest, able to do least, Yet most suspected, as the time and place Doth make against me, of this direful murther; And here I stand, both to impeach and purge Myself condemned and myself excus’d.
Prince. Then say it once what thou dost know in this. Friar. I will be brief, for my short date of breath Is not so long as is a tedious tale.
Romeo, there dead, was husband to that Juliet; And she, there dead, that Romeo’s faithful wife. I married them; and their stol’n marriage day Was Tybalt’s doomsday, whose untimely death Banish’d the new-made bridegroom from this city; For whom, and not for Tybalt, Juliet pin’d. You, to remove that siege of grief from her, Betroth’d and would have married her perforce To County Paris. Then comes she to me
And with wild looks bid me devise some mean To rid her from this second marriage,
Or in my cell there would she kill herself. Then gave I her (so tutored by my art) A sleeping potion; which so took effect As I intended, for it wrought on her
The form of death. Meantime I writ to Romeo That he should hither come as this dire night To help to take her from her borrowed grave, Being the time the potion’s force should cease. But he which bore my letter, Friar John, Was stay’d by accident, and yesternight Return’d my letter back. Then all alone At the prefixed hour of her waking
Came I to take her from her kindred’s vault; Meaning to keep her closely at my cell Till I conveniently could send to Romeo. But when I came, some minute ere the time Of her awaking, here untimely lay
The noble Paris and true Romeo dead. She wakes; and I entreated her come forth And bear this work of heaven with patience; But then a noise did scare me from the tomb, And she, too desperate, would not go with me, But, as it seems, did violence on herself. All this I know, and to the marriage
Her nurse is privy; and if aught in this Miscarried by my fault, let my old life Be sacrific’d, some hour before his time, Unto the rigour of severest law.
Prince. We still have known thee for a holy man. Where’s Romeo’s man? What can he say in this? Bal. I brought my master news of Juliet’s death; And then in post he came from Mantua
To this same place, to this same monument. This letter he early bid me give his father, And threat’ned me with death, going in the vault, If I departed not and left him there. Prince. Give me the letter. I will look on it. Where is the County’s page that rais’d the watch? Sirrah, what made your master in this place? Boy. He came with flowers to strew his lady’s grave; And bid me stand aloof, and so I did.
Anon comes one with light to ope the tomb; And by-and-by my master drew on him;
And then I ran away to call the watch. Prince. This letter doth make good the friar’s words, Their course of love, the tidings of her death; And here he writes that he did buy a poison Of a poor pothecary, and therewithal
Came to this vault to die, and lie with Juliet. Where be these enemies? Capulet, Montage, See what a scourge is laid upon your hate, That heaven finds means to kill your joys with love! And I, for winking at you, discords too, Have lost a brace of kinsmen. All are punish’d. Cap. O brother Montague, give me thy hand. This is my daughter’s jointure, for no more Can I demand.
Mon. But I can give thee more;
For I will raise her Statue in pure gold, That whiles Verona by that name is known, There shall no figure at such rate be set As that of true and faithful Juliet.
Cap. As rich shall Romeo’s by his lady’s lie- Poor sacrifices of our enmity!
Prince. A glooming peace this morning with it brings. The sun for sorrow will not show his head. Go hence, to have more talk of these sad things; Some shall be pardon’d, and some punished; For never was a story of more woe
Than this of Juliet and her Romeo. Exeunt omnes.
THE END
<
1594
THE TAMING OF THE SHREW
by William Shakespeare
Dramatis Personae
Persons in the Induction
A LORD
CHRISTOPHER SLY, a tinker
HOSTESS
PAGE
PLAYERS
HUNTSMEN
SERVANTS
BAPTISTA MINOLA, a gentleman of Padua VINCENTIO, a Merchant of Pisa
LUCENTIO, son to Vincentio, in love with Bianca PETRUCHIO, a gentleman of Verona, a suitor to Katherina
Suitors to Bianca
GREMIO
HORTENSIO
Servants to Lucentio
TRANIO
BIONDELLO
Servants to Petruchio
GRUMIO
CURTIS
A PEDANT
Daughters to Baptista
KATHERINA, the shrew
BIANCA
A WIDOW
Tailor, Haberdasher, and Servants attending on Baptista and Petruchio
SCENE:
Padua, and PETRUCHIO’S house in the country
SC_1
INDUCTION. SCENE I.
Before an alehouse on a heath
Enter HOSTESS and SLY
SLY. I’ll pheeze you, in faith.
HOSTESS. A pair of stocks, you rogue! SLY. Y’are a baggage; the Slys are no rogues. Look in the chronicles: we came in with Richard Conqueror. Therefore, paucas pallabris; let the world slide. Sessa! HOSTESS. You will not pay for the glasses you have burst? SLY. No, not a denier. Go by, Saint Jeronimy, go to thy cold bed and warm thee.
HOSTESS. I know my remedy; I must go fetch the third-borough. Exit
SLY. Third, or fourth, or fifth borough, I’ll answer him by law. I’ll not budge an inch, boy; let him come, and kindly. [Falls asleep]
Wind horns. Enter a LORD from bunting, with his train
LORD. Huntsman, I charge thee, tender well my hounds; Brach Merriman, the poor cur, is emboss’d; And couple Clowder with the deep-mouth’d brach. Saw’st thou not, boy, how Silver made it good At the hedge corner, in the coldest fault? I would not lose the dog for twenty pound. FIRST HUNTSMAN. Why, Belman is as good as he, my lord; He cried upon it at the merest loss,
And twice to-day pick’d out the dullest scent; Trust me, I take him for the better dog. LORD. Thou art a fool; if Echo were as fleet, I would esteem him worth a dozen such. But sup them well, and look unto them all; To-morrow I intend to hunt again.
FIRST HUNTSMAN. I will, my lord.
LORD. What’s here? One dead, or drunk? See, doth he breathe?
SECOND HUNTSMAN. He breathes, my lord. Were he not warm’d with ale, This were a bed but cold to sleep so soundly. LORD. O monstrous beast, how like a swine he lies! Grim death, how foul and loathsome is thine image! Sirs, I will practise on this drunken man. What think you, if he were convey’d to bed, Wrapp’d in sweet clothes, rings put upon his fingers, A most delicious banquet by his bed,
And brave attendants near him when he wakes, Would not the beggar then forget himself? FIRST HUNTSMAN. Believe me, lord, I think he cannot choose. SECOND HUNTSMAN. It would seem strange unto him when he wak’d. LORD. Even as a flatt’ring dream or worthless fancy. Then take him up, and manage well the jest: Carry him gently to my fairest chamber, And hang it round with all my wanton pictures; Balm his foul head in warm distilled waters, And burn sweet wood to make the lodging sweet; Procure me music ready when he wakes,
To make a dulcet and a heavenly sound; And if he chance to speak, be ready straight, And with a low submissive reverence
Say ‘What is it your honour will command?’ Let one attend him with a silver basin Full of rose-water and bestrew’d with flowers; Another bear the ewer, the third a diaper, And say ‘Will’t please your lordship cool your hands?’ Some one be ready with a costly suit,
And ask him what apparel he will wear; Another tell him of his hounds and horse, And that his lady mourns at his disease; Persuade him that he hath been lunatic, And, when he says he is, say that he dreams, For he is nothing but a mighty lord.
This do, and do it kindly, gentle sirs; It will be pastime passing excellent,
If it be husbanded with modesty.
FIRST HUNTSMAN. My lord, I warrant you we will play our part As he shall think by our true diligence He is no less than what we say he is.
LORD. Take him up gently, and to bed with him; And each one to his office when he wakes. [SLY is carried out. A trumpet sounds] Sirrah, go see what trumpet ’tis that sounds- Exit SERVANT
Belike some noble gentleman that means, Travelling some journey, to repose him here.
Re-enter a SERVINGMAN
How now! who is it?
SERVANT. An’t please your honour, players That offer service to your lordship.
LORD. Bid them come near.
Enter PLAYERS
Now, fellows, you are welcome.
PLAYERS. We thank your honour.
LORD. Do you intend to stay with me to-night? PLAYER. So please your lordship to accept our duty. LORD. With all my heart. This fellow I remember Since once he play’d a farmer’s eldest son; ‘Twas where you woo’d the gentlewoman so well. I have forgot your name; but, sure, that part Was aptly fitted and naturally perform’d. PLAYER. I think ’twas Soto that your honour means. LORD. ‘Tis very true; thou didst it excellent. Well, you are come to me in happy time, The rather for I have some sport in hand Wherein your cunning can assist me much. There is a lord will hear you play to-night; But I am doubtful of your modesties,
Lest, over-eying of his odd behaviour, For yet his honour never heard a play, You break into some merry passion
And so offend him; for I tell you, sirs, If you should smile, he grows impatient. PLAYER. Fear not, my lord; we can contain ourselves, Were he the veriest antic in the world. LORD. Go, sirrah, take them to the buttery, And give them friendly welcome every one; Let them want nothing that my house affords. Exit one with the PLAYERS Sirrah, go you to Bartholomew my page, And see him dress’d in all suits like a lady; That done, conduct him to the drunkard’s chamber, And call him ‘madam,’ do him obeisance. Tell him from me- as he will win my love- He bear himself with honourable action, Such as he hath observ’d in noble ladies Unto their lords, by them accomplished; Such duty to the drunkard let him do,
With soft low tongue and lowly courtesy, And say ‘What is’t your honour will command, Wherein your lady and your humble wife May show her duty and make known her love?’ And then with kind embracements, tempting kisses, And with declining head into his bosom, Bid him shed tears, as being overjoyed To see her noble lord restor’d to health, Who for this seven years hath esteemed him No better than a poor and loathsome beggar. And if the boy have not a woman’s gift To rain a shower of commanded tears,
An onion will do well for such a shift, Which, in a napkin being close convey’d, Shall in despite enforce a watery eye. See this dispatch’d with all the haste thou canst; Anon I’ll give thee more instructions. Exit a SERVINGMAN I know the boy will well usurp the grace, Voice, gait, and action, of a gentlewoman; I long to hear him call the drunkard ‘husband’; And how my men will stay themselves from laughter When they do homage to this simple peasant. I’ll in to counsel them; haply my presence May well abate the over-merry spleen,
Which otherwise would grow into extremes. Exeunt
SC_2
SCENE II.
A bedchamber in the LORD’S house
Enter aloft SLY, with ATTENDANTS; some with apparel, basin and ewer, and other appurtenances; and LORD
SLY. For God’s sake, a pot of small ale. FIRST SERVANT. Will’t please your lordship drink a cup of sack? SECOND SERVANT. Will’t please your honour taste of these conserves? THIRD SERVANT. What raiment will your honour wear to-day? SLY. I am Christophero Sly; call not me ‘honour’ nor ‘lordship.’ I ne’er drank sack in my life; and if you give me any conserves, give me conserves of beef. Ne’er ask me what raiment I’ll wear, for I have no more doublets than backs, no more stockings than legs, nor no more shoes than feet- nay, sometime more feet than shoes, or such shoes as my toes look through the overleather. LORD. Heaven cease this idle humour in your honour! O, that a mighty man of such descent,
Of such possessions, and so high esteem, Should be infused with so foul a spirit! SLY. What, would you make me mad? Am not I Christopher Sly, old Sly’s son of Burton Heath; by birth a pedlar, by education a cardmaker, by transmutation a bear-herd, and now by present profession a tinker? Ask Marian Hacket, the fat ale-wife of Wincot, if she know me not; if she say I am not fourteen pence on the score for sheer ale, score me up for the lying’st knave in Christendom. What! I am not bestraught. [Taking a pot of ale] Here’s-
THIRD SERVANT. O, this it is that makes your lady mourn! SECOND SERVANT. O, this is it that makes your servants droop! LORD. Hence comes it that your kindred shuns your house, As beaten hence by your strange lunacy. O noble lord, bethink thee of thy birth! Call home thy ancient thoughts from banishment, And banish hence these abject lowly dreams. Look how thy servants do attend on thee, Each in his office ready at thy beck.
Wilt thou have music? Hark! Apollo plays, [Music] And twenty caged nightingales do sing. Or wilt thou sleep? We’ll have thee to a couch Softer and sweeter than the lustful bed On purpose trimm’d up for Semiramis.
Say thou wilt walk: we will bestrew the ground. Or wilt thou ride? Thy horses shall be trapp’d, Their harness studded all with gold and pearl. Dost thou love hawking? Thou hast hawks will soar Above the morning lark. Or wilt thou hunt? Thy hounds shall make the welkin answer them And fetch shall echoes from the hollow earth. FIRST SERVANT. Say thou wilt course; thy greyhounds are as swift As breathed stags; ay, fleeter than the roe. SECOND SERVANT. Dost thou love pictures? We will fetch thee straight
Adonis painted by a running brook, And Cytherea all in sedges hid,
Which seem to move and wanton with her breath Even as the waving sedges play wi’ th’ wind. LORD. We’ll show thee lo as she was a maid And how she was beguiled and surpris’d, As lively painted as the deed was done. THIRD SERVANT. Or Daphne roaming through a thorny wood, Scratching her legs, that one shall swear she bleeds And at that sight shall sad Apollo weep, So workmanly the blood and tears are drawn. LORD. Thou art a lord, and nothing but a lord. Thou hast a lady far more beautiful
Than any woman in this waning age. FIRST SERVANT. And, till the tears that she hath shed for thee Like envious floods o’er-run her lovely face, She was the fairest creature in the world; And yet she is inferior to none.
SLY. Am I a lord and have I such a lady? Or do I dream? Or have I dream’d till now? I do not sleep: I see, I hear, I speak; I smell sweet savours, and I feel soft things. Upon my life, I am a lord indeed,
And not a tinker, nor Christopher Sly. Well, bring our lady hither to our sight; And once again, a pot o’ th’ smallest ale. SECOND SERVANT. Will’t please your Mightiness to wash your hands? O, how we joy to see your wit restor’d! O, that once more you knew but what you are! These fifteen years you have been in a dream; Or, when you wak’d, so wak’d as if you slept. SLY. These fifteen years! by my fay, a goodly nap. But did I never speak of all that time? FIRST SERVANT. O, yes, my lord, but very idle words; For though you lay here in this goodly chamber, Yet would you say ye were beaten out of door; And rail upon the hostess of the house, And say you would present her at the leet, Because she brought stone jugs and no seal’d quarts. Sometimes you would call out for Cicely Hacket. SLY. Ay, the woman’s maid of the house. THIRD SERVANT. Why, sir, you know no house nor no such maid, Nor no such men as you have reckon’d up, As Stephen Sly, and old John Naps of Greece, And Peter Turph, and Henry Pimpernell; And twenty more such names and men as these, Which never were, nor no man ever saw. SLY. Now, Lord be thanked for my good amends! ALL. Amen.
Enter the PAGE as a lady, with ATTENDANTS
SLY. I thank thee; thou shalt not lose by it. PAGE. How fares my noble lord?
SLY. Marry, I fare well; for here is cheer enough. Where is my wife?
PAGE. Here, noble lord; what is thy will with her? SLY. Are you my wife, and will not call me husband? My men should call me ‘lord’; I am your goodman. PAGE. My husband and my lord, my lord and husband; I am your wife in all obedience.
SLY. I know it well. What must I call her? LORD. Madam.
SLY. Al’ce madam, or Joan madam?
LORD. Madam, and nothing else; so lords call ladies. SLY. Madam wife, they say that I have dream’d And slept above some fifteen year or more. PAGE. Ay, and the time seems thirty unto me, Being all this time abandon’d from your bed. SLY. ‘Tis much. Servants, leave me and her alone. Exeunt SERVANTS Madam, undress you, and come now to bed. PAGE. Thrice noble lord, let me entreat of you To pardon me yet for a night or two;
Or, if not so, until the sun be set. For your physicians have expressly charg’d, In peril to incur your former malady,
That I should yet absent me from your bed. I hope this reason stands for my excuse. SLY. Ay, it stands so that I may hardly tarry so long. But I would be loath to fall into my dreams again. I will therefore tarry in despite of the flesh and the blood.
Enter a MESSENGER
MESSENGER. Your honour’s players, hearing your amendment, Are come to play a pleasant comedy;
For so your doctors hold it very meet, Seeing too much sadness hath congeal’d your blood, And melancholy is the nurse of frenzy. Therefore they thought it good you hear a play And frame your mind to mirth and merriment, Which bars a thousand harms and lengthens life. SLY. Marry, I will; let them play it. Is not a comonty a Christmas gambold or a tumbling-trick? PAGE. No, my good lord, it is more pleasing stuff. SLY. What, household stuff?
PAGE. It is a kind of history.
SLY. Well, we’ll see’t. Come, madam wife, sit by my side and let the world slip;-we shall ne’er be younger. [They sit down]
A flourish of trumpets announces the play
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ACT I. SCENE I.
Padua. A public place
Enter LUCENTIO and his man TRANIO
LUCENTIO. Tranio, since for the great desire I had To see fair Padua, nursery of arts,
I am arriv’d for fruitful Lombardy, The pleasant garden of great Italy,
And by my father’s love and leave am arm’d With his good will and thy good company, My trusty servant well approv’d in all, Here let us breathe, and haply institute A course of learning and ingenious studies. Pisa, renowned for grave citizens,
Gave me my being and my father first, A merchant of great traffic through the world, Vincentio, come of the Bentivolii;
Vincentio’s son, brought up in Florence, It shall become to serve all hopes conceiv’d, To deck his fortune with his virtuous deeds. And therefore, Tranio, for the time I study, Virtue and that part of philosophy
Will I apply that treats of happiness By virtue specially to be achiev’d.
Tell me thy mind; for I have Pisa left And am to Padua come as he that leaves A shallow plash to plunge him in the deep, And with satiety seeks to quench his thirst. TRANIO. Mi perdonato, gentle master mine; I am in all affected as yourself;
Glad that you thus continue your resolve To suck the sweets of sweet philosophy. Only, good master, while we do admire
This virtue and this moral discipline, Let’s be no Stoics nor no stocks, I pray, Or so devote to Aristotle’s checks
As Ovid be an outcast quite abjur’d. Balk logic with acquaintance that you have, And practise rhetoric in your common talk; Music and poesy use to quicken you;
The mathematics and the metaphysics, Fall to them as you find your stomach serves you. No profit grows where is no pleasure ta’en; In brief, sir, study what you most affect. LUCENTIO. Gramercies, Tranio, well dost thou advise. If, Biondello, thou wert come ashore,
We could at once put us in readiness, And take a lodging fit to entertain
Such friends as time in Padua shall beget.
Enter BAPTISTA with his two daughters, KATHERINA and BIANCA; GREMIO, a pantaloon; HORTENSIO, suitor to BIANCA. LUCENTIO and TRANIO stand by
But stay awhile; what company is this? TRANIO. Master, some show to welcome us to town. BAPTISTA. Gentlemen, importune me no farther, For how I firmly am resolv’d you know; That is, not to bestow my youngest daughter Before I have a husband for the elder. If either of you both love Katherina, Because I know you well and love you well, Leave shall you have to court her at your pleasure. GREMIO. To cart her rather. She’s too rough for me. There, there, Hortensio, will you any wife? KATHERINA. [To BAPTISTA] I pray you, sir, is it your will To make a stale of me amongst these mates? HORTENSIO. Mates, maid! How mean you that? No mates for you, Unless you were of gentler, milder mould. KATHERINA. I’ faith, sir, you shall never need to fear; Iwis it is not halfway to her heart;
But if it were, doubt not her care should be To comb your noddle with a three-legg’d stool, And paint your face, and use you like a fool. HORTENSIO. From all such devils, good Lord deliver us! GREMIO. And me, too, good Lord!
TRANIO. Husht, master! Here’s some good pastime toward; That wench is stark mad or wonderful froward. LUCENTIO. But in the other’s silence do I see Maid’s mild behaviour and sobriety.
Peace, Tranio!
TRANIO. Well said, master; mum! and gaze your fill. BAPTISTA. Gentlemen, that I may soon make good What I have said- Bianca, get you in;
And let it not displease thee, good Bianca, For I will love thee ne’er the less, my girl. KATHERINA. A pretty peat! it is best
Put finger in the eye, an she knew why. BIANCA. Sister, content you in my discontent. Sir, to your pleasure humbly I subscribe; My books and instruments shall be my company, On them to look, and practise by myself. LUCENTIO. Hark, Tranio, thou mayst hear Minerva speak! HORTENSIO. Signior Baptista, will you be so strange? Sorry am I that our good will effects
Bianca’s grief.
GREMIO. Why will you mew her up,
Signior Baptista, for this fiend of hell, And make her bear the penance of her tongue? BAPTISTA. Gentlemen, content ye; I am resolv’d. Go in, Bianca. Exit BIANCA And for I know she taketh most delight In music, instruments, and poetry,
Schoolmasters will I keep within my house Fit to instruct her youth. If you, Hortensio, Or, Signior Gremio, you, know any such, Prefer them hither; for to cunning men I will be very kind, and liberal
To mine own children in good bringing-up; And so, farewell. Katherina, you may stay; For I have more to commune with Bianca. Exit KATHERINA. Why, and I trust I may go too, may I not? What! shall I be appointed hours, as though, belike, I knew not what to take and what to leave? Ha! Exit GREMIO. You may go to the devil’s dam; your gifts are so good here’s none will hold you. There! Love is not so great, Hortensio, but we may blow our nails together, and fast it fairly out; our cake’s dough on both sides. Farewell; yet, for the love I bear my sweet Bianca, if I can by any means light on a fit man to teach her that wherein she delights, I will wish him to her father.
HORTENSIO. SO Will I, Signior Gremio; but a word, I pray. Though the nature of our quarrel yet never brook’d parle, know now, upon advice, it toucheth us both- that we may yet again have access to our fair mistress, and be happy rivals in Bianca’s love- to labour and effect one thing specially. GREMIO. What’s that, I pray?
HORTENSIO. Marry, sir, to get a husband for her sister. GREMIO. A husband? a devil.
HORTENSIO. I say a husband.
GREMIO. I say a devil. Think’st thou, Hortensio, though her father be very rich, any man is so very a fool to be married to hell? HORTENSIO. Tush, Gremio! Though it pass your patience and mine to endure her loud alarums, why, man, there be good fellows in the world, an a man could light on them, would take her with all faults, and money enough.
GREMIO. I cannot tell; but I had as lief take her dowry with this condition: to be whipp’d at the high cross every morning. HORTENSIO. Faith, as you say, there’s small choice in rotten apples. But, come; since this bar in law makes us friends, it shall be so far forth friendly maintain’d till by helping Baptista’s eldest daughter to a husband we set his youngest free for a husband, and then have to’t afresh. Sweet Bianca! Happy man be his dole! He that runs fastest gets the ring. How say you, Signior Gremio?
GREMIO. I am agreed; and would I had given him the best horse in Padua to begin his wooing that would thoroughly woo her, wed her, and bed her, and rid the house of her! Come on. Exeunt GREMIO and HORTENSIO TRANIO. I pray, sir, tell me, is it possible That love should of a sudden take such hold? LUCENTIO. O Tranio, till I found it to be true, I never thought it possible or likely. But see! while idly I stood looking on, I found the effect of love in idleness; And now in plainness do confess to thee, That art to me as secret and as dear
As Anna to the Queen of Carthage was- Tranio, I burn, I pine, I perish, Tranio, If I achieve not this young modest girl. Counsel me, Tranio, for I know thou canst; Assist me, Tranio, for I know thou wilt. TRANIO. Master, it is no time to chide you now; Affection is not rated from the heart; If love have touch’d you, nought remains but so: ‘Redime te captum quam queas minimo.’
LUCENTIO. Gramercies, lad. Go forward; this contents; The rest will comfort, for thy counsel’s sound. TRANIO. Master, you look’d so longly on the maid. Perhaps you mark’d not what’s the pith of all. LUCENTIO. O, yes, I saw sweet beauty in her face, Such as the daughter of Agenor had,
That made great Jove to humble him to her hand, When with his knees he kiss’d the Cretan strand. TRANIO. Saw you no more? Mark’d you not how her sister Began to scold and raise up such a storm That mortal ears might hardly endure the din? LUCENTIO. Tranio, I saw her coral lips to move, And with her breath she did perfume the air; Sacred and sweet was all I saw in her. TRANIO. Nay, then ’tis time to stir him from his trance. I pray, awake, sir. If you love the maid, Bend thoughts and wits to achieve her. Thus it stands: Her elder sister is so curst and shrewd That, till the father rid his hands of her, Master, your love must live a maid at home; And therefore has he closely mew’d her up, Because she will not be annoy’d with suitors. LUCENTIO. Ah, Tranio, what a cruel father’s he! But art thou not advis’d he took some care To get her cunning schoolmasters to instruct her? TRANIO. Ay, marry, am I, sir, and now ’tis plotted. LUCENTIO. I have it, Tranio.
TRANIO. Master, for my hand,
Both our inventions meet and jump in one. LUCENTIO. Tell me thine first.
TRANIO. You will be schoolmaster,
And undertake the teaching of the maid- That’s your device.
LUCENTIO. It is. May it be done?
TRANIO. Not possible; for who shall bear your part And be in Padua here Vincentio’s son;
Keep house and ply his book, welcome his friends, Visit his countrymen, and banquet them? LUCENTIO. Basta, content thee, for I have it full. We have not yet been seen in any house, Nor can we be distinguish’d by our faces For man or master. Then it follows thus: Thou shalt be master, Tranio, in my stead, Keep house and port and servants, as I should; I will some other be- some Florentine, Some Neapolitan, or meaner man of Pisa. ‘Tis hatch’d, and shall be so. Tranio, at once Uncase thee; take my colour’d hat and cloak. When Biondello comes, he waits on thee; But I will charm him first to keep his tongue. TRANIO. So had you need. [They exchange habits] In brief, sir, sith it your pleasure is, And I am tied to be obedient-
For so your father charg’d me at our parting: ‘Be serviceable to my son’ quoth he,
Although I think ’twas in another sense- I am content to be Lucentio,
Because so well I love Lucentio.
LUCENTIO. Tranio, be so because Lucentio loves; And let me be a slave t’ achieve that maid Whose sudden sight hath thrall’d my wounded eye.
Enter BIONDELLO.
Here comes the rogue. Sirrah, where have you been? BIONDELLO. Where have I been! Nay, how now! where are you? Master, has my fellow Tranio stol’n your clothes? Or you stol’n his? or both? Pray, what’s the news? LUCENTIO. Sirrah, come hither; ’tis no time to jest, And therefore frame your manners to the time. Your fellow Tranio here, to save my life, Puts my apparel and my count’nance on, And I for my escape have put on his;
For in a quarrel since I came ashore I kill’d a man, and fear I was descried. Wait you on him, I charge you, as becomes, While I make way from hence to save my life. You understand me?
BIONDELLO. I, sir? Ne’er a whit.
LUCENTIO. And not a jot of Tranio in your mouth: Tranio is chang’d into Lucentio.
BIONDELLO. The better for him; would I were so too! TRANIO. So could I, faith, boy, to have the next wish after, That Lucentio indeed had Baptista’s youngest daughter. But, sirrah, not for my sake but your master’s, I advise You use your manners discreetly in all kind of companies. When I am alone, why, then I am Tranio; But in all places else your master Lucentio. LUCENTIO. Tranio, let’s go.
One thing more rests, that thyself execute- To make one among these wooers. If thou ask me why- Sufficeth, my reasons are both good and weighty. Exeunt
The Presenters above speak
FIRST SERVANT. My lord, you nod; you do not mind the play. SLY. Yes, by Saint Anne do I. A good matter, surely; comes there any more of it?
PAGE. My lord, ’tis but begun.
SLY. ‘Tis a very excellent piece of work, madam lady Would ’twere done! [They sit and mark]
SCENE II.
Padua. Before HORTENSIO’S house
Enter PETRUCHIO and his man GRUMIO
PETRUCHIO. Verona, for a while I take my leave, To see my friends in Padua; but of all My best beloved and approved friend,
Hortensio; and I trow this is his house. Here, sirrah Grumio, knock, I say.
GRUMIO. Knock, sir! Whom should I knock? Is there any man has rebus’d your worship? PETRUCHIO. Villain, I say, knock me here soundly. GRUMIO. Knock you here, sir? Why, sir, what am I, sir, that I should knock you here, sir?
PETRUCHIO. Villain, I say, knock me at this gate, And rap me well, or I’ll knock your knave’s pate. GRUMIO. My master is grown quarrelsome. I should knock you first, And then I know after who comes by the worst. PETRUCHIO. Will it not be?
Faith, sirrah, an you’ll not knock I’ll ring it; I’ll try how you can sol-fa, and sing it. [He wrings him by the ears] GRUMIO. Help, masters, help! My master is mad. PETRUCHIO. Now knock when I bid you, sirrah villain!
Enter HORTENSIO
HORTENSIO. How now! what’s the matter? My old friend Grumio and my good friend Petruchio! How do you all at Verona? PETRUCHIO. Signior Hortensio, come you to part the fray? ‘Con tutto il cuore ben trovato’ may I say. HORTENSIO. Alla nostra casa ben venuto, Molto honorato signor mio Petruchio.
Rise, Grumio, rise; we will compound this quarrel. GRUMIO. Nay, ’tis no matter, sir, what he ‘leges in Latin. If this be not a lawful cause for me to leave his service- look you, sir: he bid me knock him and rap him soundly, sir. Well, was it fit for a servant to use his master so; being, perhaps, for aught I see, two and thirty, a pip out?
Whom would to God I had well knock’d at first, Then had not Grumio come by the worst. PETRUCHIO. A senseless villain! Good Hortensio, I bade the rascal knock upon your gate, And could not get him for my heart to do it. GRUMIO. Knock at the gate? O heavens! Spake you not these words plain: ‘Sirrah knock me here, rap me here, knock me well, and knock me soundly’? And come you now with ‘knocking at the gate’? PETRUCHIO. Sirrah, be gone, or talk not, I advise you. HORTENSIO. Petruchio, patience; I am Grumio’s pledge; Why, this’s a heavy chance ‘twixt him and you, Your ancient, trusty, pleasant servant Grumio. And tell me now, sweet friend, what happy gale Blows you to Padua here from old Verona? PETRUCHIO. Such wind as scatters young men through the world To seek their fortunes farther than at home, Where small experience grows. But in a few, Signior Hortensio, thus it stands with me: Antonio, my father, is deceas’d,
And I have thrust myself into this maze, Haply to wive and thrive as best I may; Crowns in my purse I have, and goods at home, And so am come abroad to see the world. HORTENSIO. Petruchio, shall I then come roundly to thee And wish thee to a shrewd ill-favour’d wife? Thou’dst thank me but a little for my counsel, And yet I’ll promise thee she shall be rich, And very rich; but th’art too much my friend, And I’ll not wish thee to her.
PETRUCHIO. Signior Hortensio, ‘twixt such friends as we Few words suffice; and therefore, if thou know One rich enough to be Petruchio’s wife, As wealth is burden of my wooing dance, Be she as foul as was Florentius’ love, As old as Sibyl, and as curst and shrewd As Socrates’ Xanthippe or a worse-
She moves me not, or not removes, at least, Affection’s edge in me, were she as rough As are the swelling Adriatic seas.
I come to wive it wealthily in Padua; If wealthily, then happily in Padua.
GRUMIO. Nay, look you, sir, he tells you flatly what his mind is. Why, give him gold enough and marry him to a puppet or an aglet-baby, or an old trot with ne’er a tooth in her head, though she has as many diseases as two and fifty horses. Why, nothing comes amiss, so money comes withal.
HORTENSIO. Petruchio, since we are stepp’d thus far in, I will continue that I broach’d in jest. I can, Petruchio, help thee to a wife
With wealth enough, and young and beauteous; Brought up as best becomes a gentlewoman; Her only fault, and that is faults enough, Is- that she is intolerable curst,
And shrewd and froward so beyond all measure That, were my state far worser than it is, I would not wed her for a mine of gold. PETRUCHIO. Hortensio, peace! thou know’st not gold’s effect. Tell me her father’s name, and ’tis enough; For I will board her though she chide as loud As thunder when the clouds in autumn crack. HORTENSIO. Her father is Baptista Minola, An affable and courteous gentleman;
Her name is Katherina Minola,
Renown’d in Padua for her scolding tongue. PETRUCHIO. I know her father, though I know not her; And he knew my deceased father well.
I will not sleep, Hortensio, till I see her; And therefore let me be thus bold with you To give you over at this first encounter, Unless you will accompany me thither.
GRUMIO. I pray you, sir, let him go while the humour lasts. O’ my word, and she knew him as well as I do, she would think scolding would do little good upon him. She may perhaps call him half a score knaves or so. Why, that’s nothing; and he begin once, he’ll